2 R: Right Setting

Look for a good time and place to start the conversation

The most important thing is to be thoughtful about when, where and how do you start a conversation. While some people might find that starting a conversation with friend in the midst of every life, like while waiting in line at the cafeteria or at the gym, is helpful – be mindful that what your friend shares may be overheard in public places. Having a private talk is safest.

Consider the following points:

• Pick a time when you feel most comfortable and there is nothing else distracting either of you
• Make sure there is privacy
• Have resources on hand

It is also particularly helpful to be purposeful about the following things:

• Be well fed, rested, calm, and alert
• Silence your cell phone (and put it away)
• Assume a calm demeanor
• Be prepared to fully listen
• Respect privacy
• Don’t make promises you can’t keep

All of these are important but the very last one, not making promises you can’t keep, is perhaps the most important. In general, there’s no reason you would have to violate your friends confidentiality unless you are very concerned that they will hurt themselves or someone else.