35 The Distance – Jalynn Rogers
Jalynn Rogers a second-year student from Metamora, Indiana and she is majoring in Elementary Education. This paper is a narrative she completed in W290 English class. Jalynn’s professor Lee Ann Adams, said, “Jalynn is truly committed to improving her writing skills, particularly overcoming grammatical errors. Her dedication to eliminating these types of errors is evident in this narrative essay. I am so proud of her improvement after completing the grammar class; she continues to apply everything she has learned!”
The Distance
When I was in kindergarten, my parents decided that they were going to get a divorce. Divorce was an unfamiliar word to me and made no sense at all. My sister and I both did not understand what divorce meant. All I knew was that it made me super upset, and I did not understand why my parents did not want to live together anymore. During the divorce, I would bury my emotions until they became overwhelming. I was of an age where I could express my feelings through my words. After explaining my feelings to my mother, she saw that I needed counseling to help me understand the situation more. After many counseling sessions, my sister and I began to understand why our parents were not together. We accepted the fact that we would only see our father every other weekend and be with our mother during the week.
As I got older, much did not change with my family. My sister and I saw our father every other weekend until my eighth-grade year. During eighth grade, my father stated he was changing jobs to a company that he worked for years ago. His new job would be making car radios for GMC in the state of Texas. The thought of my father moving to Texas caused many worries to run through my head. Some of my fears were that Texas is really far away and that I’d never see my father. Texas ended up not being the place my father moved to for his job. GMC decided to relocate him to the state of Michigan.
Prior to our father moving, he asked my sister and me what our thoughts were about him moving. Of course, I told my father to do what would make him happy because I knew he loved his job. After listening to what my sister and I had to say, our father decided to move to Michigan the summer before my freshman year of high school. During that summer, I experienced a lot of stress. My father was moving to Michigan, and I’d be beginning high school in a new building.
My new high school building was twice the size of my junior high school. During my eighth-grade year, the high school looked huge because it had so many classrooms and stairs. I was already worried about starting in a big building, but also worried about all the new people that would be there. I was concerned about whether my friends and I would stay friends or if I would make new ones. Not only was moving to high school a significant change in itself, but my mother decided that we would also move that summer. We were only moving twenty minutes away from the house we were in, but I felt down about leaving the place that I had so many childhood memories in. With all these changes occurring, my father moving to Michigan was a lot to handle.
I wasn’t ready for my father to move four hours away because I had so much fear about how my life would be different. I feared what school events would be like with just my mother being there. I thought about what my mother would do if one of us got sick and couldn’t go to my father’s. I wondered what I would do every other weekend after my father left because I was so used to seeing him. Often, I worried about how I would feel emotionally with my father not being twenty minutes away. I was afraid that my emotions would get in the way of school and change me as a person. I also worried about my sister, McKenzie, because she is very sentimental with fragile feelings. I worried she would cry at night because our father was gone, and she wouldn’t get to see him anymore. I worried about the connection that she has with our father. I had tons of questions running through my head, and they all scared me. I knew that even with my worries and fears, my father moving was going to happen and that it would all be okay.
During the last week of July, our father saw my sister and me at our mother’s house and told us goodbye. I remember it like it was yesterday. My father stayed to chat for a while and played with us outside. I think this helped take our minds off him leaving. Then right before the sun was about to set over the clouds, my father decided it was time for him to head towards Michigan. My father asked us one more time, with tears in his eyes, if it was okay that he goes to Michigan. My sister stayed quiet, so I spoke for both of us. I told him we wanted him to be happy and to work the job that he enjoys. This led to a waterfall of tears to escape from my father’s eyes. My heart was hurting so badly, so I began to cry. I realized at that moment that my life would not be the same with my father living four hours away. My father wouldn’t be making it to every event in my life because of the distance. We all gave one last hug and we watched as our father drove away.
I look back on this memory of my father and see the lessons that it taught me. When my father left I realized that, as people, we have to let others do what makes them happy – even if it hurts us. My father needed to go to Michigan because it would make him happier in life. He would be working a job that he loves while gaining new experiences. As a teenager, I had to put my feelings aside for my father, which was hard to do because, as a child, I never had to do that. This experience forced me to think about others before myself. I’ve learned that we have to be supportive of others even if we disagree with their decisions.
The second lesson that I learned from this situation is that our fears may scare us at first, but it all turns out to be okay in the end. When my father asked about moving to Michigan, I created fears by thinking of all that would change for my family. I worried about never getting to see my father and how my mother would get us to Michigan to see him. My fears often scared me, but I had to wait them out. After my father got settled in Michigan, my worries started to dissolve. My father did a lot of calling, texting, and face timing during the week to chat with my sister and me about life. He planned months in advance for when we would get to see him and how we would get there. My father would send us special gifts on holidays such as Valentine’s Day, so it was like he was never not with us. My father knew without even asking us that we had fears of what life would be like without him close, and he did everything in his power to make sure we did not worry. Through this I learned that fears can be overpowering, but it is possible to overcome them. My father worked his magic to make sure life was okay without him close and that we all were going to be together in the end.
However, having my father live hours away is still difficult at times. The distance is what upsets me most about our situation. It is so hard to say that we will see our father for the weekend when he is four hours away. I know that four hours does not sound like much, but the car rides are long. I often think how different our lives would be if I had said no to him moving to Michigan. I often think of how different our relationship could be. I think about all the memories he could have been a part of -sporting events, dances, programs, and all my first experiences. Yes, my father misses things now, but never the big things in my life, and I am beyond thankful for that. My father is always present for big events, such as high school prom. He is the type of person who will drive eight hours in one day to do anything for his kids. For that reason, I will never regret encouraging my father to move to Michigan.