The Host Family Experience

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14 The Host Family Experience

A student’s host family contributes greatly to their linguistic progress and cultural assimilation. Students are expected to spend as much time with their host family as the program schedule allows, especially during weeknights and weekends. Students should also endeavor to show appreciation to their families and to participate in family activities as a member of the household.

It is important for students to find ways of expressing gratitude to their host families for the hospitality. Helping around the house, giving small tokens of appreciation, such as flowers or chocolates, and writing thank-you notes are just a few ideas. Expressing your appreciation will make your overall experience and relationships abroad more rewarding and fun.

We encourage students to take a present or two for their hosts in their luggage. However, please do not pack gifts for your host family that are expensive, fragile, or difficult to manage during travel due their weight or size – smaller, heartfelt presents are best and most appreciated.

How Host Families are Selected and Matched with Students

All host families are carefully vetted by the IUHPFL Onsite Coordinator in that city, a process that includes interviews and personal visits to each home. IUHPFL strives to find suitable host families who wish to invite a U.S. student into their home as a member of the family.

Through the Onsite Coordinator, host families receive general information about IUHPFL, including the Honor Code, Strategies for Hosting Language Learners, and the IUHPFL Property and Liability Protocol. They also receive their student’s Host Family Placement Form and sign a Host Family Agreement, which outlines their responsibilities as an IUHPFL host family.

The Host Family Placement Form (HFPF), which is part of the student’s Acceptance Materials, lists the student’s food preferences, dietary restrictions, hobbies, and other interests. It is the primary tool the Oniste Coordinator and Office Team use to match a student with a host family. Students’ dietary needs, medical conditions, and allergies are considered first in the matching process. Next, the student’s preferences for siblings, pets, and so forth are taken into account; however, the program cannot guarantee that all preferences will be met, since the greater priority is finding hosts who are kind, caring, and able to accommodate our students comfortably.

It is important for students to know that smoking is still common in some cultures. Generally, members of the host family who smoke will do so outside or in another room, especially if they know that the smoke bothers the student. If a student has asthma or is seriously affected by cigarette, cigar, or pipe smoke, it should be made clear in the Host Family Placement Form that the student wishes to live in a non-smoking household.

Students’ health and medical information, as disclosed on the Statement of Medical History and doctor’s records, provides the IUHPFL Office with important information about the student. It is safeguarded by the Office staff and shared with instructors, Onsite Coordinators, and host families in order to ensure that the student receives proper care during the program. Sometimes, a student can be matched with a host family who has familiarity or experience with their particular needs or condition.

It is imperative that students be able to administer their own medications and manage their medical conditions while abroad. Host parents are not permitted to administer medications and are not responsible for students’ medical care. Host parents are also not permitted to pay for a student’s prescriptions or medical care or to sign promissory notes to a medical facility promising that payment will be made at a later date.

Getting to Know Your Host Family

Students typically receive their host family placement via email from the IUHPFL Office two or three weeks prior to departure, and ideally, will begin to correspond with their host families before traveling abroad. In some cases, students will not hear from their host family prior to the program. This doesn’t mean that they aren’t excited to welcome the student; it simply means they prefer to communicate in person.

Communication between the host family and the U.S. family before and after the program is encouraged—the more the better! During the program, however, parents and guardians should not contact the host family or encourage interaction. Please remember that IUHPFL is an opportunity for students to have their own unique experience and to take important steps toward independence and adulthood. Parents and guardians should contact the Office, not the host parents, with any questions or concerns they have during the program.

It is very important for students and parents/guardians NOT to share host families’ contact information with the public via social media, email, or otherwise. This information is to be kept confidential and not shared with anyone without permission from the host family.

The program suggests that each student prepare a “conversation piece” for the first few days after arrival; perhaps a lightweight album or scrapbook containing photos, postcards, and newspaper clippings of the student’s family, town, or school. Be creative and ask your U.S. friends and family to help you!

Becoming a Part of a Family Abroad

While being a part of the family involves feeling comfortable in the host family’s home, it also implies participating in household activities and chores as any other member of the family would. Students are asked to make their best effort to communicate well with their host family, to help with chores, and to be courteous and respectful during their stay.

Shortly after arrival, the host family should discuss the rules of the house. If the family does not discuss house rules, students should ask them about their expectationsto avoid misunderstandings. It is important to know that the rules of the host family might differ greatly from those of the U.S. family. It’s always better to ask for permission and clarification than to assume the expectations and rules of the host family.

Utilities (water, electricity, natural gas, etc.) can be extremely expensive in many countries. For this reason, families might limit their use of these amenities and require the same of the students they host. Some homes might not have central heating or air-conditioning, and families will even limit their use of indoor fans. Students must be ready to respect their families’ rules regarding the use of these utilities. For starters, students should: take very brief showers, turn off the lights and other electrical devices when leaving a room, and only use heating and cooling units with permission and when absolutely necessary.

Students spend weekday evenings and the majority of their weekends with their host families. It is therefore important to cultivate a relationship with each member of the host family. Good relationships with the host family will take time, patience, and a concerted effort to build, but the more care students put into developing good relationships with their host families, the more benefits they will reap!

In order to facilitate communication onsite during the early stages of the program, it is recommended that students make a list of key words and phrases in the target language and practice them often before Departure Day. Household items, as well as phrases like, “I’m tired”, “Can you please repeat that?”, “May I help you with the dishes?”, “Thank you, I appreciate it”, etc. can be very helpful during initial interactions with the host family.

Making the Most of the Host Family Experience

To make the most of any host family experience students should:

Always be respectful
Have a kind and helpful attitude
Express appreciation to the host family
Inquire about expectations
Carefully adhere to rules and requests from the host family
Keep their space clean and help with household chores
Have an open mind to assimilating to the new family’s way of life
Be willing to try new foods and show when they enjoy what the host families serves
Be open to communicating daily with the host family
Ask lots of questions, both to clarify any information and to show interest
Be an outstanding representative of your school, family, and Indiana!

Expectations of Host Families

Above all, students should remember that host families come in all shapes and sizes. Some host parents will be young, some older. Some might be single or widowed. Some families may live on the outskirts of town or even in the countryside, others will live in the downtown area. In many families, both parents work outside the home. Although host families and the “perks” students might gain from their host family experience can vary greatly, students should expect the following minimum criteria from their hosts:

Respect for the Honor Code by all members of the host family and guests in the home
Accuracy of information provided by host family on the Host Family Information Form regarding accommodations, pets, smoking, etc.
Safety in the presence of all family members and guests in the home
Privacy while dressing and bathing
A separate bed on which to sleep
A private bedroom OR a room shared with a host sibling of the same gender and approximate age or with an IUHPFL roommate of the same gender
Cleanliness of the home within reasonable standards
Ample and nutritious meals and snacks
Eating with family members as often as possible
Feeling welcome and included; having companionship
Kindness, patience, and encouragement by all family members and guests in the home.

If a student feels that these expectations are not being met, they should speak with their instructors immediately. Instructorswill then tactfully assess the situation and give any needed support to the student with assistance and guidance from the Onsite Coordinator and Director.

Host Family Challenges

While most host family experiences are positive, sometimes incompatibilities between a student and host family can arise. As much as possible, students are asked to follow the protocol outlined below if they experience difficulties with their host family:

Ask yourself if the Expectations of Host Families, as outlined above, are being met.
Discuss the issue with the host family, if possible. The host family will usually appreciate the student’s honesty and desire to communicate openly with them.
If talking with the host family directly does not resolve the issue, or if a student needs assistance addressing the issue with the host family, these concerns should be raised with the Instructor Team
Complete the Host Family Inventory Form, which instructors can provide. This form is designed to guide the student’s thoughts regarding the issue(s) they may be having with the host family, what measures have already been taken to improve the situation, and what course of action should be taken next.
If necessary, the instructor acting as Student Coordinator and the Onsite Coordinator can visit with the student and host family to help mediate the situation.

Instructors will always work in collaboration with the Onsite Coordinator during any challenges involving host families, because the Onsite Coordinator is responsible for selecting and supervising the families. Onsite Coordinators know the host families and understand cultural norms. They can be very valuable in helping to settle conflicts and misunderstandings.

A student who has serious concerns about their host family should communicate with their instructors immediately and before telling their U.S. family and friends. Whereas instructors and Onsite Coordinators can help resolve host family situations right away, friends and family back home cannot. As soon as instructors are aware of a situation, they will inform the Onsite Coordinator and the IUHPFL Office. The Office will keep the student’s parents/guardians informed of the situation and the steps being taken to resolve it.

Policy Regarding Host Family Changes

Students and parents/guardians should expect anywhere from a few days to a couple of weeks for the student to feel fully comfortable in their host family’s home. Therefore, IUHPFL strongly encourages students to spend at least a week (enough time to follow the previously outlined protocol) with their host family before making a request to explore a host family change, unless they truly feel unsafe or uncomfortable. Regardless of the situation, students should never hesitate to talk with their instructors about their host families and can rest assured that their safety and well-being is the #1 priority of IUHPFL.

Host family changes happen infrequently and can happen for a variety of reasons, including:

Student’s physical health or well-being are in jeopardy or student feels unsafe.
The family has not met the Expectations of Host Families as outlined in this section and has failed to improve the situation.
Host family has failed to comply with the IUHPFL Honor Code.
Host family has provided inaccurate information on the Host Family Information Form regarding accommodations, smoking, pets, etc.
Severe incompatibility of personalities exists between student and at least one host family member.
There is serious, unresolvable lack of communication between the student and family.
Host family demonstrates a lack of time, effort, or resources to properly care for and accommodate the student (i.e., host parent consistently arrives late to pick-up student, student spends a lot of time alone, etc.).
Inappropriate, apathetic, or uncaring behavior on the part of the host family members towards student has occurred.
The host family has stated that they no longer wish to host the student.

Once the Director, Onsite Coordinator, and Instructors have determined that a host family change is necessary, the process will begin immediately. In less serious cases, it might take a day or two. In cases where the student feels unsafe or the host family has stated that they no longer wish to accommodate the student, the student will not return to that home.

The Onsite Coordinator and at least one instructor will oversee the packing and transporting of the student’s belongings. Instructors will provide the Office with a completed Host Family Change Form, which will give the contact information of the new family, and the Office will forward this form to the U.S. parents/guardians as soon as possible, along with details of the situation. The instructors will check in with the student as they settle into their new homestay.

Temporary Host Family Changes

Occasionally, circumstances can arise for a host family that require the student be temporarily relocated to another home. For example, if an out-of-town relative of the host family passes away and the host family needs to travel to attend the funeral, arrangements will be made for the student to live with another host family during that time. In the event that any student is temporarily relocated, Instructors will inform the IUHPFL Office, who will in turn notify the student’s parents/guardians of such arrangements.

Property and Liability Protocol

In cases where a student has damaged property belonging to the host family – intentionally or unintentionally – or the host family alleges that a student has damaged their property, it is important for students and parents/guardians to be aware of the IUHPFL Property and Liability Protocol, which is provided as an appendix to this handbook. This protocol must be followed (with guidance from the Instructors and Onsite Coordinator) because it protects the students and the host families by discouraging false claims and ensuring that legitimate claims are handled promptly.