Older Brother

As we packed your luggage

And drove off to college,

I remember wishing you well,

Trying to be happy for you.

I was happy for you          somewhere

deep down, I knew you had to move

on to something bigger and greater.

But the little boy inside me,

I was eight at the time,

Couldn’t let you go.

Why are you leaving me     alone

with them, how am I

supposed to go on?

For eight years –

You had talked to me

You had helped me

You had protected me.

And then you left.

I gave you a small hug as we said good-bye –

the family wasn’t much for hugging.

And after we left you, you didn’t see me

Hiding in the back seat of the car

Crying all the way back home…

Silent tears, because boys aren’t supposed to cry,

Unless they are alone with a wonderful older brother

That will listen to them.