7  Chapter 5: Practicing Mindful Self-Compassion

Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC) is a structured program that combines mindfulness and self-compassion practices to enhance emotional well-being and build resilience. Developed by Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer, MSC aims to teach individuals how to treat themselves with kindness, understanding, and care, especially during challenging moments or when facing difficult emotions (Neff and Germer, 2018).

The program is designed to help individuals develop skills in mindfulness and self-compassion through various exercises, discussions, and guided practices. It’s often delivered in workshops or courses led by trained instructors. MSC draws from principles of mindfulness and self-compassion, which are briefly described as follows:

1. Mindfulness involves paying non-judgmental attention to the present moment. It helps individuals become more aware of their thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations without getting caught up in them. Mindfulness fosters a sense of presence and a deeper understanding of oneself.
2. Self-compassion is treating oneself with the same kindness, understanding, and support that one would offer a close friend. It involves recognizing one’s suffering, understanding that suffering is a part of the human experience, and responding with kindness rather than self-criticism.

The Mindful Self-Compassion program is effective in reducing symptoms of depression, anxiety, and stress while enhancing emotional well-being, self-esteem, and resilience. It provides individuals practical tools to navigate their inner landscape with greater self-awareness, self-acceptance, and compassion.

Mindful Self-Compassion Script:I developed this script after reading the self-compassion workbook by Neff and Germer when working with children who were traumatized and blamed themselves for the trauma. After many years as a clinician, school social worker. I found it to be helpful to a variety of adults, teachers, administrators, students, children, and families.

 

Script:

Find a comfortable seated position, gently close your eyes if you’re comfortable, and take a few deep breaths, allowing yourself to settle into the present moment.

 

Let’s start by bringing your attention to your breath. Notice the sensation of the breath as you inhale and exhale. Feel the rise and fall of your chest or your abdomen’s gentle expansion and contraction. Let your breath be natural and easy without trying to change it.

 

Now, recall a situation or a challenge that’s been causing you some stress or difficulty recently. Allow yourself to fully acknowledge what you’re going through without judgment. It’s okay to feel this way. It’s a part of being human.

 

As you hold this situation in your awareness, imagine you’re talking to a close friend who is going through a similar experience. What would you say to them? What words of kindness, understanding, and support would you offer? Now, imagine that you’re turning those words of kindness toward yourself.

 

Silently or out loud, say to yourself:

‘I acknowledge that I’m struggling right now.’

‘It’s okay to feel this way.’

‘I am not alone in feeling this.’

 

Now, place your hand on your heart or any other comforting gesture that feels natural. Feel the warmth and comfort of your touch. Imagine giving yourself a gentle hug and offering the same support you’d give a dear friend.

 

As you continue to breathe, say to yourself:

‘May I be kind to myself in this moment.’

‘May I give myself the compassion I need.’

‘May I remember that I am worthy of love and understanding.’

 

Feel the sense of kindness and self-compassion you’re cultivating. Let it wash over you like a warm, comforting embrace. Remember that you deserve your own love and care, especially in times of difficulty.

 

Take a few more breaths here, feeling the kindness you’ve extended to yourself. When you’re ready, gently open your eyes and return your awareness to the present moment.

 

Thank yourself for taking this time to practice self-compassion. Carry this sense of kindness with you as you continue your day.

 

*Feel free to modify and adapt this script to suit your preferences or the needs of the individuals you’re guiding. The key is to cultivate a gentle and understanding attitude toward oneself while acknowledging the shared human experience of challenges.

 

Mindful Self-Compassion for Kids

Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC) is a valuable skill for children to learn, as it can help them develop emotional resilience, self-esteem, and a sense of well-being. Here’s a script I adapted to introduce Mindful Self-Compassion to kids simply and engagingly:

Script:

Hi there! Today, we will learn about something special called Mindful Self-Compassion. This is a way of being kind and gentle to ourselves, just like how we’re kind to our friends. It’s about treating ourselves with love and understanding when going through tough times or things are going well.

Find a comfortable spot to sit or lie down. Close your eyes, take a deep breath through your nose, and slowly breathe out through your mouth. Let’s do this a few times to help us get calm and relaxed.

Now, imagine a warm, gentle light starting at the top of your head. This light is like a friendly hug from the inside. As it slowly moves down your body, notice how it makes each part of you feel warm, relaxed and loved.

Next, let’s focus on our breath. Place your hand on your tummy, right where your belly button is. Feel it rise as you slowly breathe in and fall as you breathe out. Keep doing this for a few breaths, and when your mind wanders, gently bring it back to your breath.

Now, let’s say some kind words to ourselves. Repeat after me:

I am unique and special.

It’s okay to make mistakes; everyone does.

I am loved just the way I am.

I am strong and brave.

I deserve kindness and happiness.

 

Think of a time when you felt sad or upset. Imagine that you are giving yourself a big, warm hug. Say to yourself, ‘It’s okay to feel this way; I am here for myself, just like a good friend.’ Feel the kindness and love you are giving yourself in this moment.

Take a moment to notice how you feel right now. Do you feel calmer, happier, or more relaxed? Remember, it’s okay to feel any way you do. We can always be our own best friend, just like we are today.

Thank you for practicing Mindful Self-Compassion with me today. Remember, you can use these skills whenever you need to feel better about yourself or during a tough time. Be kind to yourself, just like you would be to a good friend. Have a wonderful day!

*Feel free to adapt and modify this script to suit the age and needs of the children you are working with. It’s essential to make the practice engaging and relatable for them.

 

 

Reference

 

Neff, K., & Germer, C. (2023). The mindful self-compassion workbook: A proven way to accept yourself, build inner strength, and thrive. The Guilford Press.