29 Engaging with Your Grandchild

Social skills are particularly challenging skills to learn for individuals with ASD. Likewise, caregivers often find it challenging to engage with their grandchild in that they may respond differently than your other grandchildren. It may be challenging to maintain the individual’s attention with an activity, there may be persistent repetitive behaviors with certain toys or items, or there may be limited engagement or interest with activities or materials at all. Sometimes this is due to  a lack of knowledge as to how to engage and/or use toys/objects.

With your special bond as a grandparent, you can have success in engaging your grandchild with play and teaching them these important skills by:

• Building on success: Start with several frequent and brief engagement periods that can be gradually extended in future times together. Use visuals such as a timer or mini-schedule to assist in structuring the time with your grandchild.
• Providing motivation: Watch what your grandchild interacts with naturally as a clue to what is naturally motivating. Have some of their interests available and let your grandchild lead the activities.
• Providing choices: Have a variety of activities from which to choose. Choices will provide a sense of control and interest while allowing you to determine what is of most interest.
• Staying engaged: Don’t give up! Your grandchild may not want to engage at first and that is okay. Try again at another time. Watch your grandchild’s interests change and be flexible to embrace those changes. Even if the child does not look at you, smile, or bring you into the activity, this does not mean that they are not enjoying the activity. They are noticing your presence and wanting you there, they may just have a different way of showing it!
• Providing specific praise: Remember, these are for behaviors that you like and want your grandchild to do again. Using specific praise will help your grandchild be clear on your expectations.
• Setting the pace: This involves repeating and commenting on what your grandchild does and joining in only if they choose will allow your grandchild to relax by engaging in activities at their pace.

References

Krumins, Jennifer. Introducing your Grandchild to New Activities. Available from www.autismaspirations.com

Lobsenz, N. (1987). Grandparenting today: guidance for parents and grandparents. New York: Public Affairs Committee