23 Parent & Caregiver Behavior Tips

Most parents (or caregivers) will have a hard time with their child’s behavior from time to time. Individuals with ASD, with inherent challenges with social communication and expressing basic needs, might demonstrate behavior when anxious, frustrated or otherwise having a difficult time knowing how to let others know what they want or how they feel. The most basic form of communication, behaviors (e.g., tantrums, aggression, disruptions, self-injury) can serve as a means of communicating these feelings and needs whether at home, school work or in public. This behavior can be embarrassing or upsetting to parents and caregivers. Such feelings are normal. For help in learning how to manage behaviors, seek help of a professional (e.g., educator, therapist, physician) specifically trained in this area.

Things to Remember:

• If your child’s behavior is new or a change from what is typical, make sure to talk to the doctor and other providers to rule out other potential factors or issues (e.g., illness). Sometimes a change in behavior is a sign that your child may be under emotional or physical stress.
• Individuals with ASD may use their behavior to tell others what they want or need, especially if they have not learned words or other ways to communicate.
• Some individuals with ASD may have a harder time understanding rules or expectations given that their development and skills may be similar to those of a younger individual.
• Individuals with ASD often like things to remain the same. Sometimes it is hard to transition from one activity to another or know how to act with new people, new contexts, and/or new situations.
• It can be stressful dealing with behavior, and it is essential to take a break. There are services in the community that can help caregivers take some time for themselves (e.g., respite services).

Managing problem behavior

Positive strategies:

• Clear instructions: Tell your child what to do instead of telling him/her what not to do. Instead of, “Stop hitting the dog!” try “Hands to sides, please.” Keep commands short.
• Specific, immediate praise: Label the desired behavior with something like, “Thank you for telling me you wanted a drink.” as opposed to something very general and non-specific like “good girl” or “thank you”.
• Distractions: Activities such as counting or saying the alphabet out loud or listening to music can assist the child in distracting the from situations that otherwise tend to cause anxiety and stress, leading to calm.
• Simple choices: The individual should not have a choice of engaging in the required activity, but allowed choices related to the materials used or the sequence of completing the tasks within the activity. For example, when needing to brush hair, you might say “We are going to brush hair. Do you want to do this while sitting or standing?”
• Visual supports: These supports will clarify and cue what to expect (e.g., what will happen, in what order, how long, how many times, rules).Visual supports are presented in a way that is easily processed and understood, minimizing anxiety and behavior.

Reducing Behaviors:

• Planned Ignoring: Ignore the behavior and not the person. Make ignoring obvious and immediate. This strategy Is most effective when partnered with positive praise (see above)—planned ignoring indicates what not to do but the positive praise provides information about the behavior desired instead.
• Redirection: This is not same as distraction. In redirection, the caregiver engages with something of high interest to the individual alone or with others and within range for the individual to see. This provides a distraction from the misbehavior and, once the negative behavior is suspended and attention turned to the preferred activity, positive praise is provided as well as access to the desired object/activity.

Skills Teaching:

• Functional communication training: refers to the training in desired behaviors (e.g., augmentative options such as use of gestural sign, communication books and/or devices or other appropriate alternatives such as simple gestures or vocalizations) to communicate needs to someone else. Such behaviors are seen as functional when used in absence of and as an alternative to negative behavior. Further, the use of multiple modes or options for communication is thought not to limit but to rather promote and stimulate traditional language and communication.
• Social Skills Training: For many individuals with ASD, social skills (e.g. greetings, safety, play and conversation skills, etc.) do not always naturally develop. Due to the importance and need for appropriate social skills across environments, people, and contexts (e.g., school, work, leisure) these skills must be explicitly taught. To do this, there are many strategies that can be used when targeting these needed skills.
• Coping Skills: behaviors that are calming will be individualized. Some ideas include: taking deep breaths, wiggling toes, counting to ten quietly, listening to music. Calming strategies need to be taught as essential skills in that they allow an individual to learn new, or better, ways to cope with tough or frustrating situations. The strategies taught should be skills that the individual can already do, are easy to complete, and serve the function of the original behavior (e.g., if the individual enjoys auditory input but not touch, the calming strategy could include music but not soft rub on the back).