8 How to Schedule A Game of Dungeons and Dragons with Your Middle-Aged Friends (the game)

Players:

6, occasionally there can be 7 or one of the original 6 may be unavailable. The game will not regularly play with less than 6 players and never with only 5. Guest players are allowable on a semi-regular basis and may, on occasion become regular players as long as the total player count does not exceed 7.

Setup:

Having already scheduled a game, finish said game and have one player declare, “Ok, when can we get together next?” Usually this will be the most invested player in the game itself (read DND Hyper-nerd) but can often be the player with the most available time. All players must then reach for their smart phones and begin to consult their digital calendars.

Gameplay:

The first player (the first player that speaks) suggests a Friday in exactly two weeks as previously agreed upon as the regular schedule. The game is then played in multiple rounds, with each of the players given at least one chance to either deny their availability on the previously mentioned Friday, or to suggest a Friday one of more weeks further out.

After the first full round, where everyone has ha a chance to suggest a date or deny their availability, a short pause will ensue as each player will re-engage with their digital calendar and their personal memory trying to find a viable date for the next game.

At this time, if a date has unexpectedly been agreed upon, the players will pause slightly and let the date sink in or their will add the expected date to their calendar. Depending on the specific location of this game a spouse or roommate may enter the play space and be told of the agreed upon date, at which time they will inevitably exclaim that either an important trip has already been scheduled for that weekend, or an important anniversary falls on that day. A long pause follows, usually by the retraction of the previously agreed upon date. Embarrassment may occur.

The second round begins with any player suggesting any Friday between the current date and one that lands between 6 and 16 weeks into the future. The most invested player will then sigh heavily and ask out loud for something sooner than the date the previous player has suggested — it will not matter if the date falls between 2 weeks or 2 months.

At this point, the Chaos Round begins. Players will now shout out dates that may or may not fall on a Friday, but that they will most definitely be available for. If a spouse or roommate has previously spoken during another round, they may also suggest or shoot down a workable date. It is possible, but unlikely that this round will end in a date that 5 players will be open. During this round a 6th player is always optional. If no date can be agreed upon and the room stands silent the Chaos Round ends and players must return to the first round, playing each round again in a cycle until a viable date is found.

Conclusion:

When a final date is suggested and agreed upon by most players they will each give their version of a lackluster, exhausted cheer and then begin to place the date into their digital calendar on their smart phones, however 1-3 players may insist that it has gotten late, and they will mentally tell themselves they will input the date into their phones later. The remaining players may linger and discuss the Dungeons and Dragons game or they may spend their time discussing the likelihood of player X forgetting the date that the players had just agreed upon.

There will always be a better than average chance that any player will recall an intervening event on the agreed upon date and pull out of the game 1 to 16 days in advance with the precise statement: “You can all play without me, I don’t mind.” At which point the game described above is then played out on a group text. Things will fall apart.